Orion's North Belt Arrow

     This is an arrow which resides inside of the constellation known as "Orion's Belt". I'm not familiar with the story behind Orion's Belt, nor do I have any particular knowledge about astronomy. However, I'm going to share a wiki-link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orion_(constellation) in case you are interested in a brief summary about it. I'm also not sure how much of wiki is historically accurate, or even if the source is reliable but there were a few different points in the article that I found interesting. 

     So, what does a figure in the stars have to do with me? 

   

  In 2018 I received a DM from a girl who I had been friends with for years, whom I used to write letters to when I was still at my parent's house back in 2010 (I didn't have a phone so I wrote my friends letters), and DM goes as follows: "Dallas, how could you possibly be able to relate to the suffering I have? You have never had anything bad happen to you. I watch you on Facebook and you always share good news, what in your life makes you capable of relating to me in any way?"

  Although this DM is not the main factor for why I have chosen to write, it is an example of why I think sharing my story is important.  What you see on the internet is not what is actually happening in reality.  Though I state that, I don't want to make it seem as though my story somehow is more important than hers, nor is my story one that I want any sympathy for. Stay with me... 

 I have put off writing a personal narrative for a long time.  I haven't so much as touched a keyboard for years unless it was to respond to an email, or use it while playing a video game.  The fear of internet retaliation, judgement, and vulnerability has kept me choosing to only share positive highlights from my life with friends and family over social media. Besides having this fear, I also carry questions like: 

1. Why is what I have to say of any importance?
2. What right does any person have to know my innermost struggles and victories?
3. Does my story really need to be told?
4. Who will I be hurting if I share my perspective, considering the fact that there isn't an opportunity for the people in my life to defend their reasons behind their choices? 

     The last question on this list is why I have decided to use blanket examples instead of names in my future blog posts when sharing certain things that have happened to me.  I have no doubt that some of my very closest confidantes will read this and be able to recognize themselves or another person named.  If I do give names, know that the person will be renamed.  Also know that I will be open to comments and questions directly about myself, but will not answer any questions about a person or their situation.  My future posts and my writing will in no way villainize anyone whom I choose to write about.  Most of the stories I have to share with you are perspectives from a younger version of myself reflecting upon people who were younger versions of their "now" selves.  Most every person I will choose to write about should not have to be unfairly judged or compared to a person that they once were.  So when you read this blog, please keep an open mind. I am a believer in change.  I'm also a believer that nothing happens by pure circumstance.  Every person makes a decision in their life based on what they feel is best or necessary at the time.  I'm only human so I cannot expect to know every reason behind every person's decision, whether it hurt me or not.  I will do my best to remain unbiased and share only my perspective at the time.

  This thought brings me back to why write in the first place, why share my story?  I want to share my story because for only being 24 -years-old, I have learned most of my lessons the hard way.  I have made discoveries about myself that I wish others to know so that they may relate and maybe find answers to their own questions.  I would like to think that if a lesson is learned without having to go through the motions and being able to receive wisdom and understanding from another being, less time would be wasted.  I want to share my story with others because it is one worth being heard. (In my opinion). 

  I would also like to state that my opinion is completely irrelevant to your own life.  Please do not feel judged when reading these posts.  I purely want to share myself. 

  Now that these things have been established and I have shared my intentions, I would like to take it back to the photos posted above of the arrow inside Orion's Belt. 

  Arrows are representatives for direction.  In the earlier summer of 2015, I was sitting on the porch of my apartment alone, smoking a cigarette, when I noticed this figure in the sky.  The arrow was bright, and stood out against all the other stars.  I can't recall what was specifically going on in my life at the time, but the stars became a symbol for me.  For 4 years now, this figure for me has been a reminder for me to keep moving forward.  Everything happens for a reason.  Nothing is coincidence. Where you were is how you will get where you will be.   I would come later to find out that the arrow itself is called "Orion's North Belt Arrow." 

  I will share more on this star and it's presence in my life in future posts. There is too much to expand on in a short paragraph to demonstrate it's significance. 

  In February of 2018, I got the North Belt Arrow tattooed onto my right arm to keep this it as a daily reminder when I needed it. The phrase on my arm states: "When it's dark look for the stars". To me, this means when things are "dark", I need to look for my arrow that points me in the forward direction. 

  In summary, I am looking forward.  I am writing this blog entirely out of love and community.  No matter the demons of my past, I am who I am today because of things I have persevered through.  Without those hurdles to jump through in my life, I do not believe I would have ended up being the same person sitting before you today describing my life. 

 XOXO - Dallas